A Pain in the Back

By John Aldred

I've got a pain in the back.
The Doctor said "Here try this gel
I'm told it works very well."
I'm sure he is right, he usually is.
Only I know just where the pain is at
But the gel, well it needs an acrobat.

I've tried my left hand and my right
To reach that spot on my spine.
Shoulders and lower back are all very fine
Now smeared in the glutinous gel,
Must be good, no pain in those parts at all.

Tried a mop head with cloth tied upon
And a ladle to shovel it on
And a roller decorating the back
Soaked up the gel but failed to attack
The painful bone with its crack.

I've got a pain in the back
The vertebrae between shoulder blades
Clearly I need nursing maids
My arms are too short so I've found
And my hands are the wrong way around.
Go on doc. be a sport
From this description
You ought
To give me the additional prescription.

Now with the afore'mentioned twist
I've developed a very sprained wrist.
Know anyone wanting a contortionist
With a pain in his back?
Applicants give three rings on my bell
And be covered in a very good gel.

Copyright 1999 John Aldred